Like many others who struggle with major depression and/or anxiety disorders I have an emotional support animal. He's an adorable Rottweiler mix named Maxx, and he is not a pet but an animal who is attuned to my moods and responds accordingly. When I'm stressed out, he come over and calmly lays by me (half on top of my to be exact), and when I'm feeling depressed or unmotivated he sits and whines at me until I get up and take him outside for a while.
I just recently found out about the existence of ESAs, and that there are laws protecting them. In another post, I'll write about how I came to be so familiar with those laws, but right now I have a different intention.
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Hello and welcome to my blog. I've never really had a blog before, so this is all a bit new to me. I want to use this space to talk about the things going on in my life, about the struggles I deal with, and the challenges I sometimes face. One thing that I am going to try to do is to challenge the stereotypes and stigma surrounding mental illnesses--or psychiatric conditions as I prefer to call them--specifically around depression and anxiety.
I was first diagnosed with a depressive disorder and an anxiety disorder when I was thirteen. I began taking antidepressants to help alleviate my symptoms, and they didn't help much in the beginning. I struggled to find other ways to cope, and I began harming myself when I was fourteen. This continued for almost a year, until the beginning of my sophomore year in high school. I was then admitted to an inpatient facility for a week, and my medications were changed. I continued taking medications and going to regular therapy sessions for the next four years. Then, for a number of years I stopped taking medication and no longer went to therapy sessions. For the firsts few years it was fine, but then about four years ago my symptoms seemed to come back with a vengeance. Facing obstacles in the form of lack of insurance or the money to pay out-of-pocket, I struggled on my own. Then, this year I was finally able to get back on medication, although I am still attempting to find a therapist. There is a point to telling everyone this: I have been struggling with this condition for more than half of my life. I can barely remember what life was like before this depression began weighing me down, and this is a condition I will likely deal with for the rest of my life. It is, at times, a crippling and debilitating illness, and at other times it is a mere nuisance. But it's not just something that I can "get over" or "shake off". I'm sure most others with this condition had, as have I, a friend or family member give the well-meaning adivce of "try to be happy", or "fake it until you make it", or even "try harder to get over it". I find that the most frustrating part of this is that they always mean well, but they just can't understand what it's like. They don't understand feeling so numb that life doesn't seem quite real, or that the consequences for things like skipping class or not showing up at work seem meaningless. They don't understand how one thing can ruin your whole day, and send you spiraling into a major depressive episode that doesn't end for days or weeks. They don't understand how you can be so happy one day and absolutely miserable the next. And that's what I hope to help people understand. By sharing a glimpse into my mind, both when I'm happy or level and when I'm crying uncontrollably because everything just hurts, I want to allow those who couldn't otherwise experience and understand what it's like for us. If I can reach just one person, I will feel like I've done my part to help bring light and stop the stigmatizing of these conditions. So, welcome to my life. I hope you learn something, and that this somehow manages to help someone. |
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I'm a 28 year-old college student who enjoys reading, knitting, playing video games, and snuggling with my cat and dog. ArchivesCategories |